I have a long list of material that I want to use for this blog, but as I was thumbing through my notebook yesterday, I felt like I should post something brand new instead. That being said, I finished this poem about seven minutes ago. It's one of my simpler pieces, so it probably doesn't need any explanation.
Calling Again.
Through your dreamcatcher I see planets fly,
It's hung in the room I dare not touch.
And the redwood needles all fall, by and by
In the dream I loathe so much.
Out in the yard,
Where the trees stand guard,
I'll think I see you then,
But as seasons change,
You go out of range
And I'll hear you call again.
Seven raindrops on the sill,
For seven years in all,
And seven redwoods on the hill,
Still wait for eight in the fall.
And this road of mine
Now cobweb fine,
As I think of roads that end.
I'll live and pray,
That at the end of my day,
I'll hear you call again.
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Nice. I hear a tone of slow and uncomfortable waiting. Realistic in relationships, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI spent a while revising this poem. It was originally five stanzas long, but I cut it down to two because it seemed like it was dragging. It's actually about a parent coping with the death of their child. Perhaps I should have left the rest in, haha.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the feedback, though!
Yup, thats wat i think also.. that this poem is about a relationship. a guy that doesnt giv up wit his 1 true luv.. coz, d way the poem was delivered, its like u r d one who was waiting for the "call". and I cant seem to think about u being a parent, or maybe u r, then Im wrong. Or Im just not really into poetry.. Toinkz! But Ill bow down for the way the poem was made, coz its really good. Cant imagine myself writing a poem.. I think Ill be having a nosebleed before I can think of a good subject! And its still just a subject to think, huh?
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