Thursday, April 22, 2010

Claws.

A drive-in movie;
The image of a bear without claws,
Action without danger,
A land without laws.
All the good,
But stripped of the bad,
A restaurant with no register
And delicious meals to be had.

The ground is firm and the weather's fair
Go check for lightning, but nothing's there.

A brand new novel;
It's end as good as the beginning.
On every page
The good guys are winning.
But there are no bad guys,
Nobody's being unfair,
And no one is injured,
When you're a clawless bear.

Reach out with arms that have never been twisted,
You could look out for evil, but it never existed.

6 comments:

  1. Brendon,

    I enjoy reading this poem, and I truly like the work. Yet I feel like the poem finishes well with the lines "and no one is injured, when you're a clawless bear." The final two lines feel like they're a beginning of a new piece rather than the ending of the current piece...Please forgive me if I've offended you, but do understand that my inner critique had a need to be expressed.

    Good work!

    Fran

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  2. Haha, no worries. I put the stuff up for honest opinions, so I appreciate it. I moved the lines around a bit as I wrote it, and I was playing with a version where the "clawless" line was the last. You're right, though, reading it now, it would have been better the other way.
    Thanks!

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  3. Brendan,

    I'm glad that you understand...I was worried because I wasn't sure if my honesty would be accepted...some people are touchy about things.

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  4. pretty cool, I like that last line with the clawless bear,

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  5. Love this poem! reminds me of so many books and movies Ive seen. Some of My favorites are so predictable, i wonder why I like them.

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